OPEN THE INTERVIEW DOOR HAL … KEEPING MUSIC (UN)REAL

Management Team in action. Possibly.

THIS IS A VERY 2026 arts/media/technology story and everything that happened here is real. Seriously. As to how many of the people involved are real and are they actually serious? That is far more difficult to say.

It started innocently enough when a message on X arrived from a young non-Australian singer who’d noticed I’d been putting some of her songs in my weekly playlists of new and old things worth hearing. A few months later, with an EP now available, I suggested an interview, and she was keen, directing me to her management. Which is perfectly normal, but also when things got weird.

“Dear Bernard Zuel. Thank you for reaching out to us. We appreciate your interest and are pleased to assist you with your inquiry. Our team coordinates professional engagements, media inquiries, and authorized communication requests on behalf of our client. We handle these arrangements through appropriate official channels to ensure transparency, privacy, and proper documentation throughout the process,” was the first communication from them – “them” in this case being, as they signed off, “Management Team”.

If your “is this AI?” antennae are twitching already, you’re not alone. The message went on ...

“To help us better understand your needs, could you kindly share a little more about the type of engagement you have in mind? Whether you are interested in a virtual meeting, a private appearance, or another form of authorized communication, we would be happy to review your request and provide the relevant details regarding availability, arrangements, and any applicable fees.”

And lest this sound a little too formal, not-quite-human you might say, rest assured, “We value your time and appreciate the opportunity to assist you.” Oh nice. That’s alright then.

In reply, I explained my interest in an interview via Zoom to discuss the EP, her music so far and other pertinent league matters as Rex Mossop might have said, and pointed them to my website as one of the homes the story would find. Their reply showed we had moved a little closer socially, no longer needing my full name, though they remained “Management Team”.

“Dear Bernard, thank you for your thoughtful response and for sharing more details about your proposed interview with … We recognize the value of music journalism in connecting artists with audiences who appreciate folk, blues, country, and roots music. A Zoom interview sounds like a practical way to discuss her latest work, creative influences, and musical journey so far.”

I could hear this in a totally believable and not at all robotic or Siri-like voice, can’t you? For sure.

“To help us assess the request, could you kindly share your preferred interview dates, the approximate duration, and any particular themes or questions you would like to cover?”

That was easy, as I explained the time difference gave us a few windows only but dates were pretty open, and repeated the general topics mentioned in the previous message – sending questions in advance not being my thing. Ok then, let’s go! I thought.

We care a lot. Thank you for your enquiry. Please press 2 for interaction. We are your friends.

 Ah, maybe not, though now the greeting was a pally “Hi Bernard”, while they remained, yes, “Management Team”.

“We are reviewing the scheduling arrangements and would like to clarify one point before proceeding. Are you proposing this as an independent editorial interview for your website and potentially [other publications I had mentioned], or are you interested in a sponsored promotional feature? This will help us establish the appropriate arrangements and ensure that any applicable commercial terms are discussed transparently in advance.”

Say what now? Sponsored content? Commercial terms? At this point I began to have a few questions about the artist herself. Had I missed something? Or fallen for something? Was she in fact one of the auto-generated musicians the streaming services are filled with?

Apparently, no. More online searches seemed to confirm she was real, well reviewed, promising, though young and probably trying to do this on her own, hence turning to assistance from another, well, less real intelligence.

But back to the totally real people on the other end of this conversation. Someone spoke to someone, or flicked a switch or something, as almost immediately my new buddies at Management Team wrote back apologising “for the misunderstanding”, promising to get back to me with a suitable time, and assuring me that “We appreciate the opportunity to facilitate this conversation”.

Given that, it would be churlish of me to … but wait, here’s another message. This one from a newcomer or maybe their practical offshoot, calling themselves The Elite Team and including an invoice. With suitable fees. In US dollars.

Exclusive Zoom interview? $1000

Professional photoshoot? $1200

Magazine feature preparation (“interview editing, photo selection and feature layout support”)? $800

Digital promotion package (“social media assets – selected photos + quote, for website and promotional use”)? $500.

That’s $US3500. But don’t stress, they don’t want it all at once. 50 per cent deposit to confirm the booking; 50 per cent balance before the scheduled interview and photoshoot, and it can be paid by bank transfer, PayPal or another agreed method. “This is just an additional option if you’d like to reach the Global Market,” a follow up message assured me in reassuring random capitalising. “Are you ready to make commitment so that I can begin the Paper work?”

Yeah nah Management Team. I wrote back. thanks but this is not how I do business. I’ll pass on your AI-generated procedures and frankly bonkers payment system.

Their reply suggested a chill, maybe an irreversible on, in our new relationship as the “hi” had disappeared now.

“Bernard, I understand, and I’m sorry things took a turn in the wrong direction. You reached out with a straightforward request for an interview, and we made the process more complicated than it needed to be. We appreciate your interest in … and her music, and I’m sorry we didn’t handle your request better. I respect your decision, and I genuinely wish you all the best with your upcoming work. Take care, Bernard. Best, Management Team.”

Truly, it’s a very very mad world.